I Don’t Want to Hear Any Good News or Bad News

Elisa Gabbert

The other day I thought of an old enemy and smiled—not with malice, but with fondness. I felt like I missed her.

Happiness and sadness are somehow alike; they both come in waves. Unhappiness is different, just a general malaise.

A Hollywood ending is “an outcome in which all desirable results are achieved.” But don’t sad movies win more awards?

It’s so sad to have once been good at something.

There’s a fundamental uselessness to feeling sad about things that happened very far away or in the deep past.

Whatever mechanisms are required to not be sad all the time mean that sometimes when you want to be sad, you can’t.

During the Middle Ages, “Poverty, wars, and local famines were so much a part of normal life that they were taken for granted and could therefore be faced in a sober and realistic manner.”

Sometimes I involuntarily smile when I hear bad news.

Bad news makes me feel closer to people.

Good news is bad news—sadly bad news is also bad news.

I don’t trust the news unless I can’t understand it.

News serves a social function more than anything else. Monks don’t read the news.

I read in the news that alcohol stimulates the immune system; ants are a liquid.

I read that frogs don’t actually just sit in a pot of water until they boil to death. (What kind of sicko would make that up?)

I actually like talking about the weather.

I actually like crying, it makes me feel better.

If all possible worlds don’t exist, we might actually live in a very unlikely world. It might not get more unlikely than this.

Supposedly Joe Brainard said on his deathbed: “One good thing about dying. You don’t have to go to any more poetry readings.”

Bad news: You can’t actually save time. You’ll just use it to do something else.

You pretty much have to do one thing at a time, and in order.

You could change your life.

You could waste some time and be happy.

I like to feel wistful before sleep, and sometimes I get in bed early just to lie there awake, feeling wistful.

I procrastinate more than I used to, and worry less. It turns out, important stuff just gets done.

I know it will get done. So it seems strange that I actually have to do it.

Why do I have to make this future that already exists?

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Elisa Gabbert is the author of six collections of poetry, essays, and criticism, most recently Normal Distance (Soft Skull, 2022) and The Unreality of Memory & Other Essays (FSG, 2020), a New York Times Editors’ Pick and finalist for the Colorado Book Award. She writes the On Poetry column for the New York Times, and her work has appeared in Harper’s, The Atlantic, The New York Review of Books, and The Believer. Her next nonfiction book, Any Person Is the Only Self, will be published by FSG in 2024.

New York, New York

“‘There is a hole in your nightmare / you could fall down,’ writes Elisa Gabbert from America of the 2020s, where ‘normal’ has never been ‘normal’ and now distance is up in your face. ‘Every year, when the lindens bloom, I think of the year / when the lindens didn’t bloom,’ begins this journey wherein distraction helps thinking and precision allows perspective, and indecision, which by now is a character trait of a large group, touches on metaphysical: ‘everything reminds me of it, but I don’t know what “it” is.’ But Gabbert knows answers, and isn’t afraid to share them: ‘We are born not remembering why we walked into the room.’ She knows, too, that ‘what it wants is desire. / A barrier to crossing / the chasm of the day.’ The metaphysics in this book is felt, and lived, and searching. The questions are playful, the answers are wise, and the language is always precise, beautiful. Normal Distance is a joy to read and re-read.”
—Ilya Kaminsky, author of Deaf Republic and Dancing in Odessa

“‘I feel,’ says Kierkegaard’s aesthete ‘A,’ ‘as if I were a piece in a game of chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved!’ But in this playfully despairing book, our speaker—call her the melancholy American—feels to me like she’s on third base with a) the bases loaded and b) the distinct feeling that the batter’s going to get walked. He does, she saunters, and, refreshingly free of ballyhoo, she scores. The poems in Normal Distance find Elisa Gabbert taking her trademark even-keeled clairvoyance and matter-of-fact sass to new extremes of quotidiana, new culs-de-sac in the abyss. Say them and they’ll eat at you all day.”
—Graham Foust, author of Embarrassments

“A magnificent book of poems, unafraid to interrogate our maddening existence, vengefully honest, and pierced with a blazing conversation towards philosophy. Gabbert has a gift for exposing human longing, with poker-faced lyricism, for the fantasy it often is. Suffering pervades this book: our addiction to it, our denial of it and the absolute inevitability of it. What Gabbert shows us is that suffering comes in many forms, and one of the most prevalent is boredom: ‘The secret to immortality is boredom. If you’re bored enough you’ll never die,’ she writes. Always there is a solidarity in the poems. We are all together in this; we are the poet. And humor—which Freud knew held as much rich unconscious content as dreams—makes these elegant, genius poems anything but boring. ‘Can you not pay attention to your desires?,’ she asks. She replies with all her pitch-perfect characteristic sagacity: ‘I don’t care. I want to change my mind.’ Same.”
—Bianca Stone, author of What Is Otherwise Infinite

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