Regained Loyalty

Saadi Youssef
Translated from the Arabic

Yes,you loved her!Half a century now, and you’re still moaning.Remember how a night train ferried your tender passions.You loved no one but her,and you’ve loved seven beautiful women after her.But you know it, as if you’d never kissed anyone else.You still have a taste of damascene rose on your lips from her.Don’t bloody the soft, tender petals.Be gentle with the rose!They’ve not faded.And you’ve not faded.And the train goes on lumbering from Baghdadto the date palms of the South,as if clear water streamingfrom the eyes of God.This same train that led you both, the narrow gauge train,the train with a small sleeping compartment like a child’s nursery,will carry you, one day, from Basra to Baghdad, handcuffed.How you tried to befriend the policeman taking you!You were still a boy at the time!Yes, you loved her.She was soft and fragrant like dough,as if a sweet pollen dew exuded from her.You knew you wouldn’t sleepand you knewthat your girl waited too long to be on that train.We have arrived!Third-class carriages that transport soldiers, peasants, and poor students.Carriages where the wood moans and flies buzz, carriages of endless coughing and heat.These carriages transport prisoners and distribute them deep into Iraq.I was with Comrade Sami Ahmed, my right wrist tied to his left.Finally, I learned that the lifeI was destined for was my image of myself.It’s much harder than saying, I lived.”Easier than saying, “Farewell!”So, let’s stay on that train.Yes,you loved her.

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Photo of Saadi Youssef

Saadi Youssef (1934–2021) is considered one of the most important contemporary poets in the Arab world. He was born near Basra, Iraq. Following his experience as a political prisoner in Iraq, he spent most of his life in exile, working as a teacher and literary journalist throughout North Africa and the Middle East. He is the author of over forty books of poetry, two novels, a book of short stories, and several books of essay and memoir. Youssef, who spent the last two decades of his life in London, was a leading translator into Arabic of works by Walt Whitman, Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o, and Federico García Lorca, among many others.

Photo of Khaled Mattawa

Khaled Mattawa is the William Wilhartz Endowed Professor of English Language and Literature at the University of Michigan. His latest book of poems is Fugitive Atlas (Graywolf, 2020). A MacArthur fellow, he is the current editor of Michigan Quarterly Review.

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Spring 2024

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Colorado State University

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Launched in 1956 (with the first issue featuring work by Langston Hughes, William Carlos Williams, E. E. Cummings, Henry Miller, Bertolt Brecht, and Mark van Doren), Colorado Review is a national literary journal featuring contemporary fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and book reviews. Each issue is approximately 200 pages. Published three times a year, CR has a circulation of approximately 1,100, is carried by university and public libraries across the country, and is distributed by Kent News to independent bookstores. The journal receives over 9,000 manuscript submissions each academic year.

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