Some Days I’d Rather Be Anyone Else

Jen Levitt

Today it’s the boy on the trainin a royal blue wind-breaker & tennis shoestapping his footto whatever breezy melodyloose-limbed like a cross-country champ& quiet as a nailpart of me will always envya faded button-downfull of possibilityhow the light before duskborders a boyI prefer the boy halfof the cataloguethe boy half of my bodythe way my chest would lookwithout breastsshow me a herosandwich piled with meatsa boy’s confidencelike adult teethhow a boy doesn’t needto glance behind him at nightsince he cultivatesa smile with wingspanI’ve spent too much of my lifeextracting loose hair from the drainre-reading every textI’ve ever sentworried about excess& the right way to ask for moreno woman I know isn’t tryingto make of her bodysomething bettera blade sharp or weightlesswhile deep in the woodsa boy who has worked all daysleeps under starsdevoted to nothingness& the rain about to fall

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Jen Levitt is the author of The Off-Season (Four Way Books, 2016). Her poems have appeared in The Adroit Journal, Boston Review, Tin House, The Yale Review and elsewhere. She lives in New York City and teaches high school students.

Cover of So Long by Jen Levitt

"Jen Levitt can see you, reader, in this quiet hour in the dark; this poet wrote a book that makes its own light to read by. The speaker’s inner life is seductive but not flirtatious, precise but not fussy, realized but pressingly nascent, and visionary but using all the senses for its clairvoyance. Thirty-something in New York City, making a life as a teacher and poet, losing a beloved father, learning to live with absence and longing—what a soul that peeks out from behind these translucent scenes of good-bye and remembering, to keep love from slipping away the way time does. Oh the loss is endless, as is Jen Levitt’s brilliance, her empathic light which transforms that loss into longing, into love. If you know someone who deserves everything beautiful in this world, lay this book at their feet. The lovers of realness, those who really love, will treasure this treasure."
—Brenda Shaughnessy

"So Long is contrapuntal: one hand plays life, the other death. Jen Levitt is circumspect, something I associate more with artists double her age. Exquisite. The death of a father rearranges Levitt’s lines. As her father recedes, our speaker emerges. Adrienne Rich wrote, 'No one has imagined us,' electrified by her newfound gay life. Yet the challenges of being seen remain as old as Shakespeare. Wit, candor, and acceptance make up the poetic scales Levitt plays. Frank O’Hara is in her tune as she wanders around New York City seeking 'a new kind of noticing.' Such sheets of music. What joy to read. Questions mount about her father: 'I’m thinking of you now—is that enough?' So Long waves goodbye and beckons. If I go back to poems a second and third time, I’ve found a poet I cherish. That happened. Exquisiteness doubled. So long to being unseen, Jen Levitt."
—Spencer Reece

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