30 months, day 18: residing
In the clay-infected snow the auburn roadway’s whir is more of a whine than a hum. Submitting, I sip. “Guild Mortgage Company” printed on the borrowed coffee cup. Comments online read: “tread patterns on a tire are ‘noise sequenced’ so that the vibrations of treads hitting the ground aren’t all at the same frequency, like white noise.” I enter “traffic ambience.” Click play. Watch the hoarfrost through the pane. Milk, you say, pointing toward the Cascade Range.
While not writing
Writing is like a crouched wolverine pissing on the hood of a luxury car. About explaining advertising to a two-year-old. Not about the name Amazon. Or Uber. Not about the absurd. About explaining Oakland’s tent cities to a three-year-old. About the fraud of explanation. About the mythos of reward and punishment parenting. About the heron croaking through a forest of color near a lake of light. Not about prepositions. About drinking. Not about drinking alone. About the empty bottles. About the pickers, their routes. About how the bottles make the building a good score. About skateboarding in Piedmont’s rose garden. About lunches where money passes from one party to another. About the plate that costs a day’s wage. About dreaming under the cracked beam about talking trucks. About cosleeping. About explaining nightmares and dreams to a four-year-old. About surrealism relenting to the world. About access. About not getting access. About documentation. Documents. About fraudulent documents. Corroborating documents. About the shared documents. About permissions. About a mother’s body. About caring for others and others caring for you. About depleting desires.